CATEGORY / Gratitude

12Sep

2020

admin / Gratitude / 0 comment

Introspection on the Road to Self-Discovery

(First published August 27, 2020, in indiacurrents.com)

Presently our lives are topsy turvy and we are dealing with the reality that the coronavirus will be with us for a long time. The whole world has paused. The new normal is one of uncertainty as our lives have been disrupted. We are unable to meet our friends, vacation, go to work, or school. We wake up hearing more disturbing news of the stock market, unemployment, rising number of cases, and deaths.

Before the pandemic hit us, we took things for granted. We did not value the simple things of life. Being able to walk and breathe without a mask, meeting friends and family, hugs, eating at restaurants, shopping at stores, have become luxuries.

Many of us felt fear for our lives and our loved ones when we heard of the COVID -19 virus, then came a feeling of frustration and irritability which led to the anger of being locked down. Gradually our communities have started to open and some of us step out cautiously with paying attention to social distancing and wearing a mask. Life has changed!

This has been a difficult time for me too, but as time goes by I have realized that I have to make the most of what I have. I nurture my mental physical and spiritual health. This lockdown has made me aware of my inner strength, resiliency, and compassion.

We are caught up in our busy schedules and many of us are unaware of who we are. During the pandemic, things have slowed down and we have time to tune in to our thoughts and feelings. Use this as a time of self-discovery, to dive deeper into understanding who you are. This time of self-isolation is to search for answers to get to know your true self.

Many of us are naturally anxious or unhappy at this time and find it difficult to move towards balance and peace, but it is possible. Consider making one or more of these methods an integral part of your life. They may help you with your own self-discovery.

Meditation is the practice of mindfulness, a practice for mental health and clarity. Self-discovery meditation could be done in a simple manner. It is a way to calm the mind and body with relaxation and to get in tune with your inner self. By regularly meditating you will be able to live a more thoughtful and introspective life.
Find a quiet place with no distractions. Do switch off your electronics.
- Sit in a comfortable position and close your eyes.
- Breathe naturally, in and out.
- In your relaxed yet alert state, ask yourself a few questions to stay focused.
  - Questions you can ask yourself could be, “ I would like to know my strengths; I would like to know my weaknesses; who am I: how do I achieve my goal, etc.
  - Or you can use one word or mantra such as discovery, belief, knowledge, etc to help you focus.
- Focus your attention on the mantra and drop into the depths of your inquiry where the answers arise. if unable to do that then bring yourself back to your breath.
- Feel the sensations in your body of each inhalation and exhalation and let it flow.
- After 10 to 15 minutes open your eyes and sit still. Try and recall if you felt anything that helped you understand yourself just a little bit more.

This requires daily practice, time, and patience to move towards the path of self-discovery. As you move towards this goal, meditation will help calm your mind.

2.Journaling: During this unprecedented time, try to pay attention to your mental health. Journaling is a very effective and simple manner of tracking yourself over a period of time. You just need a pen and paper or you can journal on your phone.

Journaling helps you look back and see your progress, patterns, emotional triggers, and what you have overcome. If you see yourself feeling negative often then journaling will help you identify this pattern. You can train yourself to write positive affirmations and think with a more hopeful attitude. It can help you identify your aspirations and overcome your fears.

I have found journaling to be like self-counseling which has put me on the path of self- discovery and getting to know the authentic me.

Walking is an exercise for our physical well-being and also for our mental health. Walking in nature, absorb what is around you through your senses Do not have any distractions with headphones or any electronics. Get more introspective and let your thoughts wander. If your thoughts continuously move to the negative then try and bring it back to the one thing which made you smile. For example, you are irritated with something happening at work and it keeps expressing itself repeatedly. What do you do? While walking, observe your breath and focus on it, till you are calm. Then start appreciating where you are and enjoy that moment. When your mind goes back to the irritability bring it back to the breath and the beauty around you. It takes practice but soon you will find that you are in the present moment while walking.

4.Gratitude: As life has changed for us, it is not easy to feel gratitude.

Try and have compassion for yourself at this time and when you are able to do this, you will feel that you are able to express gratitude for yourself and others. Gratitude is a positive emotion and can help let go of the negative emotions which we feel during this time.

I have a gratitude jar in which I write the simplest of things I am grateful for. After a week I look at them and feel that I am fortunate in so many ways and this helps me move forward.

5.Mindfulness: Mindfulness is when you take notice of what is happening right now and when your mind wanders, then you bring it back to the moment. I urge all of you to engage in mindfulness throughout the day. Be in the moment of what you are doing and observe it and your feelings but do this non-judgmentally.

Some of us don’t realize the strong emotions of sadness, fear, and anxiety which the pandemic has brought on. With the practice of mindfulness, we can reduce these triggers slowly and move towards feeling more balanced.

Get in touch with your soul. Keep searching for answers, look within, and find your courage, passions, dreams, and happiness. Keep introspectively exploring till you find your true self. Go on, raise your consciousness, and be a higher version of yourself.

11Jun

2019

admin / Gratitude, Self Love / 0 comment

Living in the Moment

What has brought me to this realm of peace and happiness? Struggling with a debilitating chronic illness, I was unhappy. I recall this memorable day, when I looked out and glimpsed the beauty of the whirring wings of a hummingbird, as it sipped the sweet nectar of life. There was an instantaneous feeling of living in the moment!

What does it mean to live in the moment? Your life consists fully of being in the present moment. Everything that happens, happens for you in the present moment. When you recall your past, you do it in the present moment and that which will happen (future) can only happen in the present moment. People ask how can we be in the present moment if we have to plan goals for the future? As Gandhi said, “The future depends on what we do in the present.” We all have a vision or goals for the future but we implement and plan it in the present moment.

Look at me, I spend most of my time in the present moment but I am goal-oriented and this brings about a sense of joy, and empowerment. I write down a daily plan and then I execute it while focusing and flowing with the happenings. Having goals and being in the present go hand in hand and are not contradictory. Stay in the present but keep your sight on the goal.

We tend to contemplate about the past or project about our future, and we let the precious moments slip by. Be cognizant of the moment which leads us moment to moment to what we term the’ future’ but is really the moment in the Now.

How does being in the present moment bring about happiness and peace? Mindfulness is innate and Jon Kabat Zinn defines mindfulness as, “Paying attention: On purpose, in the present moment, and non-judgmentally. In our society we tend to live on auto-pilot or mindlessness. Have you completed projects or achieved a goal with a feeling of just doing and grappling with wanting to get more and more done, instead of being mindfully present and just living? After having driven from San Francisco to San Diego, did I notice the sights and smells along this journey or was it that I reached the destination with my mind being on autopilot? Being present and in the moment is being in the here and now. We release the anxiety and stress of wanting more and for things to be different, by learning to accept the present moment as it is.

Being mindfully present, our monkey mind stops the inner chatter and we become present. There is this feeling of connecting with your deeper self, less distractions and there is an awakening which makes you feel alive and free. As Eckhart Tolle says, “People live as if the present moment were an obstacle that they need to overcome, in order to get to some better point which never arrives.” It makes living difficult. The peace which lives in my soul is that of being in the Now, aligned with whatever I am doing with the fullest attention and being their completely. It means that every present moment which is the best, builds on each other to bring out your realization as your desired vision.

What if the present moment is uncomfortable, unbearable or painful what do you do? What if your job makes you unhappy, you have an illness or you are in a difficult relationship? In these times how do you practice being present? There are a few ways that may help you: accept it, change your situation or remove yourself from it. What I have learned after years of living with a chronic illness is compelling, so hear me out. I suggest that you relax into the painful situation. Instead of fighting against the unquestionable moment of discomfort, learn to accept it. Acceptance does not mean giving up or fighting against: it is to flow with what is unfolding. Even though you don’t like it you will be at ease when you stop disagreeing. At that moment question yourself, such as do you have a roof over your head, do you have loved ones? During this difficult situation, you will be able to find something small but meaningful that you are grateful for.

Our society expects us to be able to handle all situations perfectly and we internalize and cause our own pressures. What if, in the next difficult instance you stop worrying about what should have taken place or what will take place. Take comfort in knowing that you are doing the best in this difficult time. I was too weak physically and mentally, and unable to walk well, so I accepted the situation I was in. Accepting and being grateful for the smallest of things has brought me to a place where I am now able to enjoy walking.

We think we can survive without help and we tend not to ask for help. Society makes us feel that asking for help is a weakness. There is a blessing in asking and receiving. In my situation, I let go of my ego and reached out to my family and close friends. I am grateful to each one of them for pushing me in my wheelchair when I needed it, being there for me and showing me their love.

Come on, live life in the present, do not relive the past or waiting for the future. Live with gratitude, and accept the situation, however difficult it is. Life is for the taking and it will open up to you in beautiful ways.

11Apr

2019

admin / Gratitude, Self Love / 0 comment

A Love Affair

Imperfections, blemishes, wrinkles and a sad face is what I used to see in the mirror. Now, when I look at the reflection in the mirror, I see a beautiful woman filled with joy, contentment and the spirit to live. I call out to her,- “ I love you, I love you!” She looks back at me and smiles, knowing that she deserves this love affair with herself!

Were you told that it is okay to love yourself or that this is a narcissistic and selfish thing to do? Narcissists need external validation and constant praise while someone who has self-love has a strong sense of self-acceptance, compassion for themselves and others, and a high sense of self-worth. Social, peer and media pressures can condition us to feel that we are not worthy of our love, self or otherwise. Accept and embrace yourself just the way you are, and start treating yourself with self- respect and compassion.

Do you tend to measure your worthiness with regard to status symbols such as the car you drive, clothes, technology you use, jewelry? People with healthy self-love have consistent internal values and actions which bring about a sense of satisfaction.

Reduce the persecutory inner critical voice which is judgemental and tends to undermine your positive thoughts. This voice is experienced as thoughts within your head. The internalized dialogue can be harsh and is the root of maladaptive behavior. When you fail or make a mistake, observe the language you use. Over time you will realise that making mistakes, failing are part of a learning curve.This growth will build your self -confidence and worth. The first step for change is to be aware and observe and then secondly to accept that you want to make this change and lastly one needs to take action and make the necessary change.The change of treating oneself with an understanding and compassionate internal voice.

There are various examples of this critical inner voice which we all experience such as, “ You are not smart enough to carry out this job.” Another one could be, “ Your relationships lead to sadness, you are not capable of a stable relationship.” It goes on and on and we need to understand that this leads us to a path of self-destruction or self-hatred.

When a parent, child, friend is in trouble, we naturally extend our hand to help them with love and compassion. Most of us in the same situation would put ourselves second in the running. Why is this? Don’t we deserve to be treated like we would like to be treated by others? Start accepting and loving yourself and once you are filled with love, it automatically radiates out to others. Your relationships with others is enriched.

When you start loving yourself, you learn to accept both the weaknesses and embrace your strengths. With regard to your relationships, work or health, a change takes place and you find yourself in a place of emotional and spiritual growth. Brimming with self-love attracts positive circumstances and people in your life.

In the morning when you look in the mirror while brushing your hair, smile, and see the beautiful YOU smile back. Know that you are gifted the way you are and enjoy your day!

Picture Credit – Bruce Mars (www.pexels.com/@olly)