A Love Affair

Imperfections, blemishes, wrinkles and a sad face is what I used to see in the mirror. Now, when I look at the reflection in the mirror, I see a beautiful woman filled with joy, contentment and the spirit to live. I call out to her,- “ I love you, I love you!” She looks back at me and smiles, knowing that she deserves this love affair with herself!  

Were you told that it is okay to love yourself or that this is a narcissistic and selfish thing to do? Narcissists need external validation and constant praise while someone who has self-love has a strong sense of self-acceptance, compassion for themselves and others, and a high sense of self-worth. Social, peer and media pressures can condition us to feel that we are not worthy of our love, self or otherwise. Accept and embrace yourself just the way you are, and start treating yourself with self- respect and compassion.

Do you tend to measure your worthiness with regard to status symbols such as the car you drive, clothes, technology you use, jewelry? People with  healthy self-love have consistent internal values and actions which bring about a sense of satisfaction.

Reduce the persecutory inner critical voice which is judgemental and tends to undermine your positive thoughts. This voice is experienced as thoughts within your head. The internalized dialogue can be harsh and is the root of maladaptive behavior. When you fail or make a mistake, observe the language you use. Over time you will realise that making mistakes, failing are part of a learning curve.This growth will build your self -confidence and worth. The first step for change is to be aware and observe and then secondly to accept that you want to make this change and lastly one needs to take action and make the necessary change.The change of treating oneself with an understanding and compassionate internal voice.

There are various examples of this critical inner voice which we all experience such as, “ You are not smart enough to carry out this job.” Another one could be, “ Your relationships lead to sadness, you are not capable of a stable relationship.” It goes on and on and we need to understand that this leads us to a path of self-destruction or self-hatred.

When a parent, child, friend is in trouble, we naturally extend our hand to help them with love and compassion. Most of us in the same situation would put ourselves second in the running. Why is this? Don’t we deserve to be treated like we would like to be treated by others?  Start accepting and loving yourself and once you are filled with love, it automatically radiates out to others. Your relationships with others is enriched.

When you start loving yourself, you learn to accept both the weaknesses and embrace your strengths. With regard to your relationships, work or health, a change takes place and you find yourself in a place of  emotional and spiritual growth. Brimming with self-love attracts positive circumstances and people in your life.

In the morning when you look in the mirror while brushing your hair, smile, and see the beautiful YOU smile back. Know that you are gifted the way you are and enjoy your day!